sooo...

Some recent fun things...

I'm excited for summer. My friends and I are going to split a Hampton's share house for 1 weekend. That should be really fun. We might also go to LA possibly (assuming I can fly by then)...and various other beach days. Should be awesome!

I'm going to start a boxing class at the gym w/ my friend who lives close by. Should be pretty fun.

My trainer could tell my shoulders were way too tight (I think from the panic attacks), so he's been giving me a free massage after each work out, which is great! He uses his elbow...everyone who walks by is scared for me, but it's so helpful. He said that he think I must have a really high pain tolerance haha, which I probably do. He also has given me a bunch of free sessions, which is great.

My cinco de mayo was good, but I drank way too much. Boozy brunch went from 3-8, and then I went and got dinner, w/ more drinks, and then dancing, until 2am or so...I must have gained 3 pounds just from that.

But when I went to the gym the next day, I easily did an hour of cardio and wasn't even tired! It said I burned 500 calories, but I don't know about that.

I am finding that it's so stress relieving to exercising. Why didn't I do this before?? Maybe I'll get back into salsa and soccer as well.

There is nothing so beautiful as...

There is nothing so beautiful as a whole stream of cabs with their gleaming "in service" light on. Late at night in the rain on a weekend.

Stalking tables

I was killing time before brunch. At Barnes and Noble at Union Square stalking a table. I finally found one after standing up for a long time, and my feet were tired. I put the edge of my leg up on the chair at my table.

After 10 minutes or so, an employee rushes over to insist "That's not allowed!"

Am I in second grade? What is this? A posh mansion with exquisitely expensive chairs? No, this is B&N and a disgustingly old and stained chair, and it was only my leg touching it anyway. But apparently I'm mistaken, and this is clearly very important.

I reluctantly remove my leg, and immediately a stream of people rush over to sit in this chair -- that leg had kept them all away. no more.

Of course there are about 50 other open chairs, at 50 other tables w/ 1 person at them, they could have chosen. But no. They had to choose mine.

The first person leaves, and some obnoxious sweaty gym guy rushes over. Insists on talking to me. I don't make eye contact. He then leaves his stupid gym bag and basketball and laptop for me to watch (without even asking), and I was tempted just to leave it there. #isthatmean?Idon'tcare


Irony
And here I am writing a presentation about happiness and fulfillment.

Life loves to throw this irony at me. Like when I gave a "dating tips" talk around a couple weeks before Valentine's day, the same week as filing for divorce. Then again, I guess I really do understand my client's pain, in all areas. 

Someone I dated for a month, over 3 years ago, just emailed me an apology. I guess that's nice. But I just don't really feel like writing back. I mean, it was 3 years ago. He was looking at my web site, so he probably thinks I'm married (still), and wrote all of these regretful things. 

I guess he had some kind of relationship phobia where he feared failure, and after a month, I remember him saying "Am I suppose to be feeling something for you by now?" I remember just being stunned, and before I could think, I was just walking out, and saying "Oh, I, uh..." and those were my last words. So I guess he was "just scared" and chose to blame his failures on pretending he didn't even like me. So no, I don't think I'll accept that apology. And I definitely won't tell him that I'm single again in 7 days.

I just wish I didn't have to walk out of so many bars, and hang up the phone, and say things like "then it's over" and I remember opening that East Village bar door a bit too aggressively and it flying open and the bouncers jumping back, and this guy running after me down the street as I told him to just forge it, or another guy literally running after me in Central Park (long story), and well I'm probably just feeling sorry for myself. Just too many stories for only 30 years. I'm tired of it. I think I'll just stay in and eat seamless web for a long time now.   

If only I could find someone without some kind of personality issue. Though I have really expanded my repertoire of personality disorders from all of my googling over the years. "why does he ___" would usually be explained with "narcissim definition" or "emotional abusive tactics" or "sociopaths explained" and so on.

This obnoxious woman is asking a Starbucks employee to use the restroom. "It's closed for the night" says the employee. She continues to ask -- eleven times -- "can I use it?" Wow, speaking of crazy people.

Hmm, I should stop being so negative. Really, it's getting sunny outside.

Okay time to eat this cookie w/ ice cream inside. The diet will have to wait for now.

I love it so much I want to marry it. And in 7 days, I'll legally be able to.