Suburbia Day, Leaving the City for Chain Stores

Lipstick, carbs, and other things..

I realized I may as well talk about my personal life, because that's more fun for me. I avoided it for a while, due to fear someone I know might find it. But then I realized no one is secretly stalking me, so how much do I care? As much as the honey badger. So not very much.

Years ago, when people still had some interest in googling me, a bad date read my blog about him and he completely freaked out. But that was back when I'd posted the link on my myspace page, and now I don't think anyone remembers it now, nor do people take any interest in googling me, so it's all good. I mean seriously, head count, we have what, three people reading this? Minus my mom, two?

Yay. So we can have some more interesting blogs now, versus detailed accounts of wallpaper, and that sort of usual boring factual stuff I write about.

Anyway. 

I decided I really missed Target and Olive Garden. Because I'm still afraid of planes, I couldn't do my yearly trip back to Arizona -- and those are my main activities back in Tucson (plus Mexican food and hiking). So I convinced "a friend" that'd be a fun place to drive to. So I was itching to do some suburban things.

Being in the city is great, but I started to really miss those doughy bread sticks and slow-moving herds of people. Ah, slow moving. Meandering. Not even that aware of your surroundings. No one looking at you funny on the street, and no need to slowly slink away from some crazy person screaming some creative words for no reason -- let's be clear though, I absolutely still LOVE New York, despite this. It adds to its dirty charm. ;)

So, we're in the convertible, lovely weather out, speeding down some highway, when he reaches into that little compartment(the place you throw change in a car), and he's like "You left this lipstick in here." I stare at.

"Nope, not mine...," I say.

I almost break into laughter. Did he plant a lipstick to make me jealous? Or did some girl leave this here to stake her claim? There's not much I can say to ease the awkwardness, and he doesn't say anything.

Trying to give someone SOMEONE ELSE'S possession is definitely in the top 5 of awkward dating moments.

I once did this myself years ago, but it wasn't my fault. You know how laundromats sometimes have a random old man sock stuck in the dryer, that gets mixed with your stuff? This happened to me, when I announced, "honey you left some boxers here I guess." Needless to say, an awkward moment.

Anyway, so I'd dated this guy for a while, but I made it clear I didn't see things really moving forward -- I just despise it when people aren't clear with me, so I try to be as clear as possible -- and he was totally okay with that, since he's super busy working and going to Yale part time for a masters thing. Great guy, but just not my soul mate or whatever. So it was totally fine that there was a lipstick there. I later joked that I hoped the lipstick made it back to its true owner, and he said it was his classmates who he gave a ride home back to the city. That's fine. Just like I go out with my "friends" to dinner or drinks. We all know these words are just code for "all of my other dates."

So, he was down for my "Suburbia Day" plan, and we drove like an hour out of the city to a shopping center, which was exciting. Sadly, I forgot that malls close early on weekends, and he wasn't aware -- as he grew up in the city. Luckily the Olive Garden was still open, whew!

There was a wait, since all of suburbia had shown up, since it was prob the only thing open. I suggested we get drinks at the bar while waiting, so when our little buzzer went off, I had to carry my pink martini to the table -- sigh, I tried to not be city-ish, yet the martini found me.

It was then a fantastic blur of carbs. Fantastic. Carbs. I pretty much ate the whole thing.

I started thinking maybe I should just end it, as it's not really going anywhere, but he said, "Target next time." God I love Target. So we'll see. I mean, really really miss that dollar section. And I wonder if they have any rugs??

In other news, I think I lost my faith in humanity for a while there. But then I read that 90 percent of the population are not sociopaths, and do have feelings. That restored (part) of my faith in humanity. I try to look for those little signs of empathy and true feelings in others, though everything can be faked.

Not all of them are bad of course, but they're disabled emotionally. Sociopaths have a lack of empathy, superficial charm and an impulsive nature. Looking back on it, I think I dated several. And I think I had a boss like that too.

I just need to remember it's not everyone. Just some. I mean, I guess I can't blame them for being born that way. They still want to be loved, but they just can't return it in an emotional way. But they can return it in logical ways. Like loving a computer program or something. I dunno, I just don't think I'll ever really wrap my head around it.

Well now I'm pretty sure...

He prob gave me some kind of drug, that wasn't a roofie, but might have been some kind of prescription drug or something. One of my friends said vallium or something like that could make it so I'd still have some memory.

I kept thinking maybe I was wrong, and drank a lot I just couldn't remember drinking.

Then he emailed me (after about a week) and said my earrings were there, and he could drop them off or mail them. Also strange, since I didn't remember taking my earrings off at ALL, and I never take off jewelry unless I'm planning to sleep somewhere -- I had NO intention of sleeping there, so I wonder if they took my earrings off for me. They were cheap ones, so who cares.

Anyway, I didn't want any contact w/ this guy, but I wondered if I asked him how much I drank, if that would clear up the mystery. If he told me that we did 5 shots and gave me all the details, maybe it'd explain it?

So I asked "how much did I drink?" and he said "I think it was all a bit hazy for all of us after the improv club."

Totally suspicious answer, since he didn't tell me what I'd drank. And it makes me wonder if he knew I'd not had much to drink, and was trying to make it seem "normal" that I felt hazy.

Also, I have this big phobia of being trapped, so not being able to leave their apmt normally would put me into a panic attack -- even if I was drunk! I can still panic and be drunk. So really makes me think it was some kind of chillax medication he slipped me...

I also had been thinking that maybe I was just really drunk, but I got even drunker several time this weekend and 1) I never threw up 2) I only felt mildly hungover (barely a headache) 3) I still felt super anxious when I had to get in an elevator, even after drinking about 5 strong drinks.

So I'm pretty much convinced he gave me some kind of anti-anxiety medication...

I was upset and not feeling feeling for a while, but then realized it's no big deal, and there are always some people like that out there.

So I decided to go on a bunch of dates, to just get back out there, so I went out w/ 5 people this weekend. (It was a long weekend). And I'm much more careful to finish drinks before go to the ladies room.

It's a bit sad that summer is over. I would have liked to travel more. But at least I got to go to the beach, and the convertibles were nice. It's the only thing I can really do right now, as far as transportation goes. It's a nice way to see the city, especially at night.