The hurricane

Let's start with a dramatic photo of the East Village -- the first neighborhood I lived in, in NYC. This is supposedly 8th Street and Ave C (I lived a half a block from here (if you kept walking left out of the photo), and where the small car is on the left side is where where my small grocery store was). I also had lived two blocks south of here, and then 8 blocks south of here (for 2 years). So very odd to see this photo!

 I didn't take this photo, so can't vouch for its accuracy of the exact location, but it said it was 8th n C.

I really lucked out with this hurricane. Aside from the wind noises and pre-storm news hysteria scaring me, nothing bad happened (to me anyway).

Most of the city lost power...40th street and below. I was super prepared for this, and expected to lose power. I was waiting for Sandy all day, then waiting for power to go out, and/or a tree to blow through the window -- there are a bunch of trees right outside my window with branches that scrape by the glass in a creepy way even on a normal windy day.

The lights flickered 3-4 times during the night. Facebook posts from a guy who lives a block away kept saying "lights flickering...this won't end well!" which was not encouraging. I had my giant stack of books and battery-opperated lightbulbs and flash lights and candles all set up, waiting. My laptop and cell phone were all charging. My dry food was all sitting out in an easy-to-get-at box. My windows were taped. As the wind noises got louder and louder I even put some duct tape over the window frames (in case trees came in I figured it might catch some glass). and I put cardboard over my AC vents and duct taped that. I made a hot meal, in case I was without heat for a week. I made a bunch of calming tea, chamomile and valerian, as I get panic attacks when trapped -- so the idea of being trapped inside for a week was not comforting. I filled pans with water, filled the tub with water, froze icecubes and 5 big glasses full of water, plus the bottled water I could carry home and up the stairs (that stuff is heavy, so only could get enough for a few days).

I'd bought an assortment of "survival" food that was not very tasty such as a huge thing of peanut butter, but I later went out for "tasty" comfort food snacks such as already popped popcorn, juice-box sized milks, shortbread cookies w/ chocolate, and other such "necessities."

In those last minutes before 6pm I realized I had an old ipod shuffle, and ran to find it to charge it and upload my (small) itunes library to it. I then was desperate to purchase the new Justin Bieber album, as that seemed to be the kind of light and pop-ish stuff I would want to hear if I was sitting in a dark room with a candle, eating cold vegetable soup from a can, reading through that old stack of mags I never bothered to throw out -- it uploaded just in time.

I paced around.

And luckily, nothing happened! I didn't even have to use my "back-up" last resort Bieber songs, though I think the experience made me a belieber. 

News such as this did not alleviate my fears.

It was surprising how anxious I became. At lot of it was from watching the news all day. I wanted to be informed, but all of the facts of just how bad it was made me anxious. Then I was waiting 6-7pm, when it was suppose to hit the hardest. As the winds picked up, they became quite loud and came in waves, with a few seconds of quiet in between. When the winds became the peak of loudness it really sounded like something could easily smash through the window, so I'd run towards the back of my apmt (it's one room w/ 2 windows, so no where to "be away from windows" except for the bathroom. I'd run and stand in the bathroom until the sounds died down a bit, come out for a few moments, and repeat.

As the storm continued, I was getting texts from friends downtown who were losing power, and wanted news. And another friend who didn't lose power, but was basically as freaked out as I was -- he was in a very tall residential building, 38th floor, and as the storm was getting loud he said he had one foot out the door and was eyeing the elevators -- I of course said that was a bad idea, as it could get stuck -- but clearly it was a fight or flight irrational reaction. Another friend bought a radio but hadn't tried out the batteries and they didn't work. So all she had was a candle and a rapidly dying iphone.

I texted a bunch of people and told everyone to text the thread w/ any news, since people were losing power. Instead they texted me questions individually...so in any event, I was trying to type out the news as it became available, which at least gave me something to do w/ all that nervous energy.

I was surprised more people didn't prepare. Basing this on the random online dating emails I was getting (more than normal, as people were cooped up), it seemed most guys hadn't prepared really at all -- not smart. A lot of people thought the storm last year not hitting hard meant this year would be the same. I almost figured it would be worse because last year's wasn't.

As the wind started howling and strange sounds started outside, I decided to clean to calm my nerves. I HATE to clean. But, I organized 3 closets, put away a bunch of laundry, organized jewelry, etc. It really helped, and at least I was left with something productive being done.

I was still upset by it, but didn't come close to having a panic attack at all -- I only get those when I feel trapped. And technically I could go outside, I just chose not to. But after reading an article about a Williamsburg apmt building (which is part of Brooklyn close to the city with a lot of hipsters), that locked-in residents who didn't leave before the storm for at least 24 hours, I started to feel panicky and had to remind myself that my building wasn't locked -- though I didn't know that for sure, but there was no reason it would be. I then started worrying that there might be flooding that could last for a few days -- since the East Village had 3 feet of flooding. Luckily, no flooding.

It was almost shocking when the winds finally had a bigger gap between them, closer to 1am...it was such a relief I almost couldn't believe it. They kept on occasionally but didn't sound too threatening. I slept on the couch just to be sure, as it was shielded from the window by a decorative curtain on my bed frame. 

I woke up to the news saying that the 59th street area (where I'm close to) was totally fine with the bridge re-opened.

The streets had a strange feel to them today. I couldn't tell if it was a lot of tourists? Because there was luggage and confused-walkers. But that could be disoriented locals also who had come to the area to escape the low-lying zones, and were trying to figure out how to get back.

The subways are closed for up to a week or more. Buses are running, but packed full, and the streets are crazy slow and crowded (since cars are the only way to come and go from the city  -- there's a lot of bridge and tunnel people from other boroughs). Airports are all closed.

It was interesting to realize EVERYONE in the city is now in the same world as me -- unable to take transportation. I'd felt so trapped due to my panic attacks on subways, trains, and planes, and now millions of people are in the same boat of having those options excluded.

 I didn't take this photo, but thought it looked interesting. People walking on a closed highway...which wasn't closed for that long...

People downtown now wouldn't dream of taking the very slow bus anywhere, or paying a big price for a cab, but that's how I've been living for a year.

Uptown was a different world from downtown though -- the only real change was big herds of people walking on the sidewalks, and the bars were louder and more crowded for a weekday for sure! -- normally all those people would be at work and/or traveling via subway.

But downtown all the lights were out, the bars closed, and it seemed people were hunting for generator-supplied cell phone charger outlets. I saw a photo of a deli charging to use the outlets from their generator, until it broke.

I also didn't take this photo. This was close to Union Sq. A deli letting people charge phones for a fee, until their generator broke. You can see the guy counting cash. Not a bad idea really.

The main stress for most people is being inside at night w/o light, computer use, or cell phone use. Hardly anyone was killed or injured -- I only heard 1 story that had a reason the storm was involved in a death, which was from someone outside during the hurricane hit by a falling tree. I haven't heard of any other deaths that were due to the storm itself.

It seems a little silly to me that people are calling this such a huge tragedy when compared to other tragedies in the world (and places where there is never power), just about everyone was just fine, and just missing their iphones. It's no worse than camping. I think we're actually a bit spoiled to think a few days w/o power is the end of the world.

There were some dramatic photos, but those were really NOT the norm at all. The flooding was almost all along beach areas, except for the East Village -- 3 feet of water there I admit was very strange, and the building losing its facade was odd, though not unheard of -- I previously saw a story about how government buildings here such as schools often don't meet codes, and it's overlooked (bricks can crack, and walls can pull away from each other on the roof), so any of those problems would make it easy to collapse with a bit of extra wind.

It was very unfortunate that a hospitals back-up generator failed and they had to move patients to another hospital. I wonder if that's where most of those deaths actually occurred, since there was no mention of this in the media. I can't help but think it might be the fault of the hospital, since the rest of the hospitals didn't have problems, but I'm just very critical of the whole medical establishment and their lack of concern for patients in general.

My parents are set to come to visit on Saturday. It'll be the first time my dad has been here in decades, so that's great. Provided that La Guardia is no longer flooded by that time! As of now it's full of water.

A friend from back in AZ was swinging by to say hello tomorrow, except his flight for Thurs was cancelled, so he's trying to re-schedule when the airports are open.

I'm trying to figure out how to meet up w/ friends when they live an hour and a half walk away.

Luckily one of my prospective online dates only lives about a 30 min walk away, so we're going to meet in the middle, which is really only a 15 min walk, so this shouldn't affect my online dating much, lol. Though everyone in the cool downtown neighborhoods will be out of that pool for a while.

I was a bit upset when two of the three restaurants that the guy suggested were places I'd gone w/ the second-to-last guy I'd dated...that was one I really liked who ended up having issues, but I was bummed about how it ended. Seriously, of all the thousands of restaurants, he had to pick a Japanese place and a new ambiance kinda place that the second-to-last-guy had chosen? So I opted for the not-as-good looking third choice (restaurant I mean, not guy), just to not be reminded of the second-to-last guy. I guess the new one does have pretty good taste in restaurants though. Though I don't really think we're compatible from some stuff on his profile (he doesn't think humans come from monkeys as is a republican), but we'll see I guess.

I did end it w/ the last guy, as it wasn't going anywhere and I just didn't think he was the right one for me, even regardless of the lipstick-in-the-car issue...he had some good qualities but that click just wasn't there. I wrote a very nice goodbye email and was hurt he didn't even write back, but oh well. I guess no one likes to get goodbye email.

I've been getting lots of email lately from guys who are the SAME personality type as me. (I put my type in my profile). The problem is I've tried to date my same type for over 10 years and it ALWAYS ends badly after 1-3 months, guaranteed. I've given up on dating them. However, these guys are the only really good looking, good catches, and it's like water-water-everywhere-not-a-drop-to-drink. The city is swarming w/ ENFP guys. And this is just useless and frustrating to me. At least the one tomorrow is an ESTJ, which isn't a bad match. And I guess I should be grateful for the three INTJs and two ISTPs from earlier this year, because it shows that some introverts DO still exist.

Finding non-player ones, who are emotionally healthy, and who are not on a lot of medication or looking to play weird ego games is another story...and so it continues...but I'll just keep carrying on until I eventually find the right person, which should happen at least in the next 30 years at some point or another!

Well so at least I have a huge box of snacks now, a ton of bottled water, and a lot of supplies like flashlights if/when this happens again -- which is does seem to be a yearly thing at this point!

Later gaters.

Hurricane and Halloween

It's strange to prepare for both on the same day. My mind is a scramble of "where is my Alice in Wonderland costume?" and "I need to sew the broken part of my rabbit purse back on" and "I wonder how important an emergency radio is?" and "how much water can I really carry at one time?"

The stores are this weird mix of people buying Halloween candy, beer for parties, and large amounts of candles and canned goods. There was a lot of tension in the Chef Boyardee section, with people unsure if they should grab large amounts mixed with, "hmm, do I really ever want to eat whatever that is?"

I bought an enormous jar of cheap peanut butter. I really don't like the stuff, but hey, survival is survival.

Dressing up as Alice again this year, will write more later. Best wishes for a city NOT destroyed by a hurricane.

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I lost my iphone :(

I'd never lost a phone before, ever. Going back to my first cell phone in college. I don't tend to lose things very often, and usually, if I do, the thing has fallen behind something like a bed or shelves.

So when I left my iphone in a cab, I just couldn't believe it. :(

It's really bizarre, but again, I didn't drink much (3 drinks for the whole night, with food), and I came home and was throwing up like crazy, and the whole next day I was about to throw up and exhausted (I took a 4 hour nap). It was again a date, and I was reading online that people are putting eye drops in drinks now, which have a much milder effect than roofies, but do result in throwing up, not feeling well, etc., with some slight memory loss/slowing of heart rate, etc. Eye drops have actually killed people before, so you don't want to mess around with that.

It seems impossible that this could have happened to me twice, but this guy seemed kinda shady, and I was DUMB and again left my drink on the bar and went to the bathroom. It was just really dumb. It was a big drink, and there was no way I could finish it before going to the ladies. But I shouldn't have kept drinking it when I returned.

I couldn't even remember if I had taken a cab home or not, so I had to look at my credit card bill. I didn't remember getting ready for bed, and I knew I'd thrown up but I couldn't remember where. It was at home. I called my mom on the landline and asked her to text my phone (in case someone found it), but sadly whoever found it turned it off and kept it. She said I sounded extremely drunk.

So, goodbye Iphone4s. I'm going to buy a new one tomorrow, but I really miss that phone, and all my data. I had backed it up on my desktop, but the application expired and I didn't pay the $10 to renew it...ugh.

It was also a bday gift from my ex husband, right after I moved out. 

The worst part is not having my calendar. I now have to make a lot of calls and ask "when were we meeting" or "when does this class start" etc. So frustrating.

Maybe I should just give up on dating for a while.

I recently had one guy, very good looking, who giggled during the entire date. Not just the beginning. On paper he was great, but I just couldn't get past that school girl nervous giggle -- yuck. We hung out for the whole night, at least 6 hours or so, and he giggled constantly. It was unnerving.

The thing is, I had at least 4-5 strong mixed drinks (one after the next -- I was drinking without a break the whole time) and ended with 2 shots (one right after the next), and I didn't throw up at all or feel sick in the slightest. I wasn't hung over the next day either. And of course I didn't lose anything, and I remember not really even acting drunk. I completely remember saying goodbye, getting in the cab, going home, etc.

So that's why I felt it was strange that 2 wines and a mixed drink (with food) would knock me out like that. 

The worst part was, at some point, I texted the guy (from the previous lipstick-the-wasn't-mine story), and I told him that I'd read his Yelp reviews, and realized (from his review of a bar he was at on a date w/ some blonde girl) that he'd picked me up immediately after leaving a previous date -- it made me mad because he was complaining he was working and studying a lot, and said "he couldn't read another page, so let's hang out," and I HATE lies.

So here I am texting him super late at night, and then I lost my phone, so I don't even know what his reaction was. I do remember he texted that he wrote a bunch of reviews at one time, so the date was a few weeks before, but who knows.

I don't even care about him seeing others, since I told him early on that I didn't want to be exclusive with him (I just don't think he's a long term match), so there's no reason for me to even be upset about the Yelp thing, except for the dishonesty. He could have said he was out with "a friend" or whatever. I just can't stand lies. I was planning on ending it for a while, but I guess this is a good excuse to.

I also lost the phone numbers of all of the guys I was talking to. Luckily, there weren't any in there that I was that excited about, but if there were, that would have been horrible. Because what would I do, text them and say, "Oh, were you planning on asking me out again? Because I've lost my phone. If not, carry on and have a nice life." LOL.

Ugh.

At least I have my land line phone. And thank God I didn't lose my keys, because I have no way to get in if that happens. I should really find a key-friend to keep a set I guess. And my mom sent me a cool colander/strainer thing.

I'm really enjoying my gym classes though. The kangaroo spring shoes one is pretty amazing. After 3 times going, I can finally not need to take breaks...before I had to take about 4!

I took a break from working on the panic attacks, but need to get back into that. I'm thinking of just going and standing on the subway platform, until I can get the guts to get on an local train and just go 1 stop. My fear is that the car would get stuck (before I can work up to longer times). But we'll see i guess.

Hopefully if I can do that, I can conquer trains, and then work up to planes, which I can't even imagine doing at this point. It's been almost 2 years since I've been home, and it makes me dizzy to even think about. I really miss it, and it's strange to feel like I "can't" go, so I really need to conquer this.

But on the plus side, match is using some of my advice in an upcoming article that will come out in several months. Strange anyone would take my advice when my life is so ridiculous right now, but I'm still very thankful for it. And I'm also thankful to have my mom to call drunk in the middle of the night when I've lost my phone.

Maybe I should just stop drinking. I don't even really even like it. It's just what people do here when they go out. I really hate having a headache the next day. Maybe I'll do a cleanse diet or something. 

Hopefully these posts will stop being so depressing soon!