Year in Review

It always makes me laugh when I get those "how our year was" emails or letters. They're nice of course, and I'll probably make my own some day. But I find it interesting how people often leave out all the bad stuff, and only include the good things: "Jimmy is enjoying art class, and our dog is now trained." And they don't include the bad things: "I've been starting antidepressants." etc.

My year in review? For 2012. 

*Had panic attacks all year, and took cabs mostly.
*Divorce was final.
*Had a gazillion dates, and several short "relationships" if you can call them that?
*I've never been much of a car person, but I dated two guys w/ convertibles in a row over the summer...(a BMW and Porsche 911 I think?). One of them took me to a castle. The other drove me to Connecticut for dinner. Life could be worse. Strangely, they were both the same personality type, INTJ. Which isn't a bad type for me really, but neither were the right match for me long-term. I think I really like cars now.
*Was invited to speak at a pretty awesome college. It was the biggest kind of speech I've done, and they said it was a "home run!" That was seriously an amazing experience.
*Got included in a bunch of awesome publications.
*Made some new friends. Lost some. Made some.
*Spent tons of time crying. Tons.
*Got in the best shape of my life (for several months) until my trainer left :(. I nearly had a 6 pack for a minute there...but I'll get it back. I really like weights now!
*Learned to be more organized.
*Got highlights and much better nails.
*Identified every childhood issue, and worked on them all a ton. Not fun, but I can see the results now. I've never been so happy to be alone. I'm just happy all the time now.
*Reflected a lot on my life goals and think I'm clearer on stuff now.
*So, yay.

I feel 2013 is already off to a great start. With Valentine's Day approaching, the guys are all freaking out realizing how alone they are, so I'm getting a lot more interest than normal. And I'm also just really enjoying being single.

I've gotten into cooking/baking healthy food...which doesn't always turn out great. But sometimes it does. Who knew you could make fast ice cream w/ avocados and cocoa powder? And it's delicious! And I'm starting to learn to hip hop dance, which I just love. Seriously I love it. I'm sad that Americas Best Dance Crew went off of the air, because I only discovered it recently on YouTube. I've noticed I'm writing more again also, which is great.

I got the worst cold, and I think it was actually Whooping Cough, because it was unlike anything I'd ever had -- something about the sickness "felt very 1900s" to me, like you see in movies, when someone is coughing into a hanky and in the next scene they're dead. That's what it felt like. I was in bed pretty much unable to get up all day, and I had to order seamless web for all of my meals, and get into my in-case-of-hurricane food.

I had all of the symptoms, (including cough medicine/drops not helping and making it worse). I read online that garlic is a huge cure for Whooping Cough, and shockingly, it worked! 

I read that you grind up garlic, and squish it onto the bottoms of your feet and sleep like that (w/ socks over it -- I also wrapped my feet in plastic wrap because the garlic smell will get on your sheets! ew). After 2.5 weeks of coughing constantly at night, this stopped it within an hour. I was still draggy for a few days, but the cough went away completely. Otherwise, Whooping Cough can last 2-3 months. Just a note, if you use the garlic, it's extremely potent and will burn your skin. I actually got a few burns on my feet and a blistered-burn from it. So it's better to wrap some cheesecloth (or tights) around the garlic so it's not in direct contact with your skin. Lesson learned! It sure killed the bug though.

I also covered the bottoms of my feet w/ olive oil w/ a few drops of peppermint essential oil (again, beware full strength as essential oil will give you 2nd degree burns if not diluted in other oil), and this also really helped -- my mom said Vick's Vapor Rub on the bottoms of your feet helps w/ coughs (and that's Menthol) so I figured peppermint would work similarly, and it worked great!

Your feet soak up and absorb stuff really easily, as you can see. Which is why if you put a garlic clove on your foot, you can taste it in your mouth within 15 minutes (try it, it seriously is so odd!).

Anyway, enough about my feet and natural cures :).

Hopefully I'll be back on the Subway soon, as I've been okay with elevators lately! I have a feeling I'm about to turn the corner on this. And a lot of things! :) I just feel so grateful for everything now, and it's so nice to be over the past finally :).

It's like I'm emerging from the dark cloud stage! Yay!

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And it helps me know what my clients are sometimes going through. I can help them so much more when I go through more of my own pain and struggles. It's just given me a great perspective on life, and I think I'm becoming more spiritual as well. I feel like now I can really be happy with nothing. So long as I have my potential, that's all I need.

Through it all, I still love New York as much as the first day I set foot on Manhattan ground, here on this blog on day 1. I don't think that will ever change. Just walking the streets at night, no matter how much I was hurting, it just always cheered me up. It always makes me feel at home.

So I don't regret a thing. And here's to having a great 2013 for everyone.

new poem by me

Stolen by age

The seeds you threw into

this sandbox

in this place we used to sit

grains of sands covering our hands

as we played as children

your bright eyes gleamed in the sun

with that wonder of just not 

knowing

very much at all

but hoping for such 

bright things.

These seeds eventually wove

their path, a wave motion,

growth breaking through that

dried out older sand,

until,

I stepped out onto the porch to see

in my old empty sandbox,

flowers, bright purple and pink,

standing tall, greeting me,

with a memory of what you were.

So bright to me.

And even with this empty, empty

city. Know I will never forget, the way

those flowers grew.

Even if I only knew you so long 

ago.

Back when we had light in our eyes,

and it wasn’t yet stolen by age and

gray skies and the wearing away

of every day on the subway behind

lonely newspapers. 

In my mind I step outside,

to look at that sandbox. 

Just a reminder of that sweet smell

of those bright flowers, tall strong stalks

of green, was enough to make me feel

that sunshine in my eyes.

They lit up again.

Even though I’ll never see you again,

thank you, old friend.