So it's basically spring, but not really. When it's still 45 with cold wind in your face, and there are black puffy down jackets all around, it's not really spring -- except for the girls wearing yellow pants or Keds with no socks something like that, which just seems odd when it's so cold.
I've been all-around-lucky at avoiding bugs and rats throughout most of my 5-year-stay in NYC, but not so much in the past week. First I found a gigantic roach running across the floor during -- what would have otherwise been -- a relaxing bubble bath. I managed to catch it under a glass and put something on top so it wouldn't get away.
But then, what to do with it? Ah, I was in a rush, so left it there, hoping it might die on its own?
Then I went on another date, which I do way too often. And left the roach behind, happy it was at least trapped.
The last few months, it seems I'm constantly on a date. I don't know how it ended up that way. But I realized I've basically been dating (and drinking) non-stop, which is bad for my health, so I'm really trying to cut back. I definitely became a bit dehydrated.
But anyway, that night I was on a first date w/ this kind of awkward guy who was a bit too uptight for me, but he was very polite and kept complimenting me, which was nice. He travels constantly for work, but said he'd give it up because he's wanting to settle down STAT. (A recent trend, as we'll get to).
We had a nice dinner of very tasty pasta, a bit too much wine, and then a few too many shots. I decided to give him a lesson in loosening up, so I asked him if he would tie his tie around his head, and we popped his collar. It really helped. Then we got some wings, and I told him to eat the dip just w/ his hands. He really enjoyed this, as I think he's spent way too much time in London, and needed a good shaking up. So then I confessed my roach problem, which I thought was appropriate, as he had a tie wrapped around his head at that moment -- so really, could he judge me? And he agreed to come back to throw it out my window. We took some coasters from the bar, which were the perfect thickness for sliding under the glass. Apparently roaches live for months, so it was a good thing he threw it out. I was thankful. And then I sent him home. Nice enough guy, but I really didn't understand his sense of humor, and he's very religious and I'm not. I think he told me I'm going to pergatory? I don't even know how to spell that word, and I'm too lazy to look it up. Sort of like how I feel about religion.
I should really be thankful for the dates though. Though of course I really would prefer to just meet the right guy already! Honestly it gets tiring, even when the dates are wonderfully planned.
Right before him, there were two guys, who were also on the "marriage track" and started mentioning it from the first date, which I guess is a flag. I mean, do they not care about the person? One guy wanted me to life coach him on the first date, which I found frustrating -- they always want it for free. But I asked him one question, which he pondered, and gave me crap answers. So I pushed him, until he had a little breakthrough, which he called a "life changing moment," and I told him that should be worth the price of the Scotch. But then we had 3 Scotches. Then we went to dinner, where I successfully ate my first raw oyster or clam or whatever it was -- in the past I'd always choke on it when I wrongly tried to chew, ending up with a mouth full of sand. Gross. And I think there was some salmon or something. Then he insists, that despite being in the Upper East Side, that we cab it down to Meatpacking (on a school night btw), to go dancing. So we do. We dance at one of the popular places there, and he says I'm basically checking off all of his little marriage boxes, in so many words. Still, it was a "date extravaganza." 3 locations for a first date? I was very impressed.
And so it continued with him. 3 locations for each date.
Then there was another guy. Who, I'm not sure if he was seeing me checking-in on facebook or what, but decided to also up the anti and create his own "date extravaganza." We just met for a drink on the first date, but then he quickly upped that to several drinks and shots, and then drinks at another place, and then dinner, and then he drove me home -- which thinking back...I guess he had a crazy tolerance? But he was a gentleman. I wasn't sure if we hit it off or not though.
So then back to the other one. For the second date, he said it would be a surprise, and to wait on my corner. And a cab would pick me up. He said to wear comfortable shoes. I could help feel terrified that he planned to kill me and wanted the comfy shoes so I'd present more of a challenge? Like that book with the guy who hunts the other guy on an island for sport? But I also REALLY like surprises, so I decided to give it a shot.
He picks me up in this cab, and we drive from the Upper East, to the west side, down the West Side Highway, all the way downtown. I ask if the date is doing a giant loop around the city -- um, one pricy cab fair in rush hour traffic, that's for sure! But we end up at Chelsea Piers, for some driving range golf, which was an interesting idea. He's a cute guy and my best personality type, so I was pretty comfortable around him. So he teaches me some golf, and he's impressed with my athletic ability, and says he wants his kids to be good at sports, so I check this box as well. Great? Um, hmm, kinda weird. So then we go to dinner, at a second location (despite there being restaurants there), in Hell's Kitchen (so a 2nd cab), and then we get drinks at another place (another cab). And then he drops me off in, a 4th cab. Definitely another "date extravaganza."
Then, that weekend, we were going to go ice skating, so we walked over to Central Park, where I admitted I was a bit hungover and sleepy, and he admitted he despised ice skating. So instead we just sat there drinking coffee which was nice, and then he suggested a quick dinner. The "quick dinner" was at a $$$$ restaurant in the Time Warner Center that lasted for 3 hours, and I was in this really casual dress. Not at all prepared for the full tasting menu and bottle of wine thing, but I tried to go with it. We seemed to get along fine, but I kinda felt uncomfortable. Everyone else was fairly dressed up. Then we went to my place and watched some old movies, which was fun, and he was a gentleman. He kept pushing me though, asking if I'd ever take my online profile down, etc., and I kinda clammed up. There were certain things about him that started to bother me. Like he blew in my face to show me his "minty fresh breath." Who does that? And sometimes I'd have to repeat something 3 times before he understood what I meant. He was 35.
Now in between all this, there was an Investment Bankers who seemed horrified at my artsy nature, and despite ordering several pitchers of Sangria after dinner, and staying out past 2, and admitting he was a "serial monogomist" who was having a hard time being single, yet terrified he'd miss out on his newly-found hobby of softball if he ever got into a relationship again, didn't text me. Which I think was just fine.
And there was a guy who just was boring. And probably some others I'm forgetting. Oh yes, a school teacher who was nice enough but lives over an hour away and would never want to live in the city, and so on.
So then, the other guy, perhaps seeing my check-in on facebook at the fancy restaurant, again steps it up with a themed restaurant downtown. I read online that you enter through a mysterious elevator, walk through a dark winding scary passage-way, and then ninja people jump out and scare you, and you eat in a cave-like setting or little rooms -- um, NIGHTMARE for a claustrophobic panic person like me, no? I was a bit terrified, but went anyway, not wanting to miss out on another DATE EXTRAVAGANZA. I really like that phrase, if you haven't noticed?
While I was feeling a bit sick at first (maybe from the long cab ride downtown?), but it luckily went away. I survived, and ended up in the cave area, with disneyland type ninjas jumping out and saying "hi ya!" and lighting all of the food on fire. I felt silly for being scared when I saw all of the 8-year-olds with their families! It was entertaining, and after a lot of sake, I forgot all about the cave setting and my panic attacks, yay!
Part 2? Because as you've noticed, it's not an extravaganza unless it has 3 parts...his surprise (in addition to the Ninja-themed restaurant), was taking me to a pre-paid Tarot Card reader for an hour in the village. That was super fun, yet super awkward, as I didn't want to ask about my love life, and I didn't want her to tell us our compatibility, because I already knew what the answer would be.
I knew she'd say that he's meant to stay in Brooklyn in his little cocoon of where he's from (self-admitted mama's boy), and I'm meant to stay in the city. And we both could use a partner who is better at math than we are. I KNEW that's what she'd say, so I awkwardly declined the dual reading. I also knew he wanted the reading to confirm or deny if I was "wife material" as this dude also was on the marriage track, despite being 28.
In her reading, she did tell me that I'm meant to stay in the city, in the West Village. Not a huge surprise. And she said I would never, ever, fit in in Brooklyn. Also not a surprise. So that pretty much doomed any hint of a budding relationship there.
Then more drinks for part 3.
Then the other guy picked me up in a cab and we went to this fantastic club night at a place where you have to be a member. They had confetti falling from the ceiling, a DJ, and gave out plastic sunglasses and beads. I felt like I was in college which was nice. They also took our photos behind this backdrop thing. We danced, and it was fun. But he seemed distant, and kept saying his work was about to get horrible. Which it did.
He never sent me the photos, because he didn't text me back, ever, despite like a month of going out. But maybe he could tell I wasn't on the marriage track? Still it was strange to not even get a goodbye. He just texted a couple times saying work would be crazy for a month. I took that as the clue, and eventually removed him from my facebook, which wasn't so horrible, because I was wearing my big girl pants. But no one likes endings of course.
Then the other guy texted me when I was out for a birthday party. I had wanted to go dancing w/ these friends, but he really wanted me to meet his friends, so I went. He picked me up, and I saw what Brooklyn is really like in the city. They have cars and drive around, and I was just confused. They cross the street differently. His friends weren't used to meeting new people, so came off as rude, but they're all friends from years ago, and they don't go to networking events and happy hours with strangers constantly, so it was a skill they didn't have.
We got a dinner, and then ended up, sadly, at a horrible techno club, and I hate techno. The girl was wearing sneakers. Everyone was 25. I was out of my element and completely confused. "No, the dance to techno is more hoppy," she said, as if I have any interest in getting it "right?" Then he said he thought the Brookyn folk were warming up to me, again, as if I cared? I was more concerned w/ if I liked them than the reverse.
He was a gentleman, but I let him sleep on my couch due to him being tipsy, and not wanting him to crash his car on the drive back to BK. The next day we went to get brunch and discovered that his car was gone. He hadn't moved it for the reverse-whatever-its-called thing where you need to park across the street for the street sweeper. He'd gone out to buy a toothbrush and discovered this. He tried to buzz back into my building, but as an inexperienced city person, he buzzed the wrong building. Got a girl who sounded like me.
"Who is it?" she said.
"It's me!"
"Who?"
"(His name) Come on! My car got towed! Just let me in already."
She laughs
"Seriously it's not funny! Let me in!"
"You have the wrong apartment."
"No come on! I know it's #9. Like love potion #9! Let me in!"
Eventually she stopped responding, and he called, and discovered he'd had a lengthy, and hilarious, conversation with a total stranger. This is what happens when you're from different worlds. He'd seriously never used a buzzer before. Not that he couldn't learn, but does he really want to? When he wants to buy a house in BK and never leave?
We had a nice brunch, and then he had to jet to locate his now towed car. I knew it spelled doom, as he would blame "the evil city" for his car being MIA.
(Sorry this post is so long by the way...I have a lot to say it seems).
Then I walked over to the park, on a lovely sunny day, and met this really fashionable guy who speaks 4 languages. But it was a "coffee" date, which meant he spent $2 for 2 hours of my time. Not that there is ANYTHING wrong with that, except it can indicate a wishy-washy nature about dating (or about me), and he admitted he doesn't have a clue which country he wants to live in, because he's too good at adapting, and he hasn't had a GF for forever. But wow he had amazing taste in shoes, and one of those sportcoats with the little patches on the elbows. Wow. He was very down on himself about his French not being flawless, but it sounded pretty good to me.
Maybe it was because I was so dehydrated, or because I hadn't brushed my hair, or maybe I was rambling too much, but he didn't text me back, despite my love for those little elbow pads on that jacket which were so cool.
That night I heard a rustling. OH GOD. Is it another roach?? I was too exhausted to go out that night, despite it being a Saturday, so I tried to sleep (unsuccessfully) and I kept yelling "go away!" whenever I heard the noise. I kept the light on. Eventually it stopped.
I got kinda sick. I had to bail on a meeting I had really wanted to go to. Bummer. Slept all day. By evening I felt good enough to go out with another guy. On Easter Sunday, here I am going on a date. I wish I could say it's unusual for me to have ever gone out with a stranger on a holiday, but it's actually not.
Cabbed it downtown to a nice romantic little bar. Very cute guy. This could go okay, I thought. He already had a drink. I ordered mine. He. Did. Not. Take. Out. His. Wallet. I was in utter shock. The only reason I could think to explain it, was he just didn't find me pretty, and saw no reason to waste $12 or indicate any false interest. So I again, put on those big girl pants, and I paid. Then I couldn't get past it, because if he just wanted me to leave, I wished he'd tell me, instead of pretending to have a conversation. I was barely listening, and wondering if I should just get up and leave? I didn't want his pity if he wasn't interested, I'd just go.
So finally, I just said it. I told him I could just go, or he could apologize for not buying the drink. After some long silences, he finally said sorry, and that he'd make it up with more drinks. Which he did. And he'd brought peeps, which we put onto the drinks.
We stayed there until 2am and had a nice conversation about art and music and things like entrepreneurship. I told him he had nice hair, and he clammed up, and said he hated compliments. I hated that he'd make things so awkward with that weird game he'd played with the drinks,but I couldn't help but like his hair. He put his arm around me when we walked out, but then a cab appeared and he offered it to me, so no chance for a kiss.
I didn't think he'd text, but he did. To invite me to a free event (where he wanted to purchase some things for his apartment). Which honestly was disappointing, as it wasn't really even a date. None of my friends could tell if he was a jerk or not, so I decided to go on the off chance. Though I suspect he's a player because he knows he's good looking and he's 28 and not on the marriage track.
Then I saw tie-around-his-head guy, who'd just flown back into the city -- crazy work schedule as I mentioned. He was jet lagged and not making much sense. And despite dinner being lovely, I could tell we just weren't at all on the same wave length. And him going on and on about "wanting a wife and kids, now," was just creepy, again. He was likeable, but just not for me. And my mom had accidentally friended him on facebook, so he thought he had my families approval or something. I felt bad disappointing him.
The next day, I was in the kitchen when the dreaded roach APPEARED! On the wall right in front of my face. I grabbed a glass that happened to be right on the counter and pushed it onto the wall, trapping him, all in a blur. But then, what would I use as cardboard? I couldn't walk away without losing him! Luckily the other cardboard coaster was still in the kitchen drawer, so I slid it under, forced myself to be calm, and carried it to the window, slid the window open, and launched that roach as far away from me as I could. Poor guy made an arc through the air on his way to landing in the lovely courtyard of trees below. I actually felt a bit bad for him. Threw away the glass, because I've heard bugs lay eggs when scared, as I last resort to leave a legacy of baby bugs behind.
I'm suppose to get brunch with some new one this weekend, and I guess I'll go to that free apartment-furnishing event with the player just because I like his hair. Told the tie-around-his-head one that I don't think it'll work out, and he's on a plane right now anyway. And didn't hear back from either of the date extravaganza ones.
I'm going to take more hip hop classes, and figure out where I want my career to go next. And eating more vegetables. I really need to do that.
